Belthazar's Journey
To the honorable Phraates, King of the Medes and Prince of Parthia,
Greetings and Salutations,
I am writing in regards to my sudden departure from the household of your cousin and governor, Ciretis.
Since I am your humble servant, I do not dispute your right to chastise me for leaving the service into which you entrusted me. Being the just, wise ruler you are, you would not act on the basis of hearsay, but before judging me, you would wish to know my reasons for leaving Medea and setting out for Judea.
As you know, I have dedicated my life to the advancement of truth and acquisition of knowledge in the best tradition of the priestly caste into which I was born. Through study of the stars and the interpretation of dreams and visions, I have faithfully served you and your family. For thirty-five years I have advised you in spiritual matters. And so, I appeal to you, Great King, to regard with favor the friend of your youth, your confidant in the early years of your reign, to remember your servant's honesty and sincerity. And though I have set off on this journey without the blessing of my present master, please know that I still remain a seer dedicated to the discovery of truth, and that it is this very truth which now takes me to Judea.
The extraordinary events which led to this journey began five years ago after that devastating fire which had claimed the life of my wife and our three sons. Not only had I lost the woman who had supported me and given me joy through thirty happy years of marriage, but I had lost my progeny. Into my sons, I had poured the wisdom and heritage of countless generations of my family. I had been assured the secrets imparted to me by my father would be passed on through the ages by my sons, and that through them our mighty line would continue to prosper and serve through the ages to come. That assurance was wiped away in one day by a meaningless fire started by a drunken slave boy.
Suddenly I was totally alone--an object of pity and scorn. Those who worked under me secretly claimed that the gods had taken my family away because of grievous sins I had committed. Others surmised that I had offended the gods by my great pride. Needless to say, I had lost the respect of my brethren here in Medea, and so you sent me to your cousin's home in the mountains. Though you had only wished to spare me the pain of my memories and help me heal from this terrible grief, I misinterpreted it as a negative judgment on my abilities, and the result of the wicked rumors set forth by my enemies and detractors.
Foremost among these detractors was Casper. Oh, how anger burned in my breast at Casper, the young mage I had once championed and whom I had mentored.
I will never forget the day when Casper entered my court-yard and personally delivered your decree.
When I looked up from my star charts and met his intense green-eyed gaze, I was immediately struck by the beauty of his blue silk robe. Where had he acquired so expensive a garment? With his fine raiment and carefully trimmed beard, he looked stately, important--quite a contrast to the disheveled young boy whom I had introduced to your court ten years before.
I stood, bowed deeply and bade him to sit.
“Nae," he said. “I must be on my way." In his hand was a scroll which he handed to me. “This is from the king."
“Is the king well?" I asked. “I have not seen him for many days. It is not like him to communicate with me in writing."
“The king is well, but is much preoccupied with state matters,” Casper replied gravely.
I took the scroll and looked at Casper to see discomfort in his bearing. “You know what this message is,” I said.
He lowered his eyes. “I do indeed.”
“Then what is it that the king could not tell me face to face?”
“Read the letter.”
I tossed the unopened scroll on the table. “If you were any sort of friend you would tell me.”
“Very well then,” he said with resignation. “You have temporarily been relieved of your position. Since the loss of your family, you have been distracted. Your ability to advise the king has been compromised. The king is still very fond of you, but he felt you needed a new task and a change of scenery to help you heal from your loss.”
Sympathy softened his expression, and I could see a trace of discomfort in his eyes. At that moment I could almost believe he was sad for me.
“And who will be my replacement?”
He lowered his head in silence and then lifted his gaze to mine. “I will,” he admitted in a steady voice.
“You have done quite well for yourself, my prodigy. The student has at last replaced the master."
He bowed in acknowledgment. “Yea, I have. You have taught me well, and I cannot but admit that I am pleased with my new position, but I did not want it at your expense. You must believe that. I have not half the knowledge you have, but the king felt he had no choice. Things can not go on as they are."
“What do you mean?"
He lowered his gaze and drew his eyebrows together as if in deep thought. “You are bitter since the tragedy,” he finally said, “and that is to be expected. No one faults you, but your grief and your hurt have clouded your vision."
I picked the letter up, broke the seal, and with one motion tore it from its handles and crumpled it my hand. I threw it at Casper's feet. “Get out of my sight, traitor."
I retired to the mountains and lived out my supposed exile the best I could. I watched the stars and read the charts for my new master, but my heart was not in the task. Though I was spiritually dry and began to doubt the validity of my forecasts and insights, I was able to greatly influence and enrich my new master.
As my tasks became increasingly routine, a great darkness settled over me. For the first time in my life, I was cynical. I no longer believed in the wisdom I had learned from my fathers. In time I skillfully manipulated the results of my astrological forecasts and interpretations of dreams and to my astonishment, my master became even more enriched.
It was not long before my conscience tormented me for this ruse. I could not sleep at night, and when I did sleep my dreams were troubled. I stopped eating regularly and suffered from excruciating head-aches.
My life was empty, and I wished to die. One day in my pain I cried out to the star-filled sky and begged that my life would soon end, for I had not the courage to take it myself. I wept for the past--for my wife, for my children, for the days when I had sought enlightenment, and I realized that what I wished for more than anything was the return of my innocence. I wanted truth, beauty and purity in my life again. I wanted to be clean.
One night I had a dream in which I was alive, but walking around like a rotted corpse. Everywhere I went, the sight of me filled people with dread and fear. It was as if I were a leper, for men threw stones at me and bade me to be gone, and women shielded their eyes from me in total disgust. And then I beheld a man dressed in a pure white robe. There was glow and aura of holiness about him. Unlike all the others, he was not afraid of me. He gazed upon me with eyes which seemed to delve into the depths of my soul.
And then he spoke to me. “Belthazar, I will make you clean.”
He held his hand out to me, but I would not take it because I was dirty.
I walked away and behold there before me was a white lamb without spot. I heard the voice again. “Belthazar, I will make you clean."
“Yes, make me clean," I said.
And before my eyes the lamb was slain and his blood gushed forth and covered me.
I woke from my dream, and for the first time in years, I found a respite from my bitterness. As I went about my work I asked for an interpretation of the dream, for I knew it was of great importance.
And then the strangest thing happened. I observed an extraordinary event in the sky. There was a very bright star sitting in the Jewish house. It was completely unknown to me. At first I thought it was some sort of anomaly easily explained away. I had seen them before and had heard accounts of them in the past from my father, but this star persisted and grew even brighter.
I began to doubt my sanity. Perhaps I wanted an answer so badly to my personal struggles that I was imagining the heavens bore the key.
But as I observed the star, my enthusiasm returned. Somewhere within my being I began to understand that there was a purpose and order to this universe, and that in some way I was connected to that plan. Whoever had mapped out the heavens cared that I was lonely, bewildered, and without hope.
Unfortunately while all this was happening I was far away from my fellow seers, and I could not seek their advice. I received more dreams, and these were more specific. In the dreams there was a glittering man, a messenger of God, who told me to prepare for a long journey. I was to leave everything behind and follow this star.
The dreams persisted night after night. In one dream I was instructed to take all the gold I had been saving and to use it all to buy myrrh. This myrrh was very expensive, but I did as the heavenly messenger commanded.
Then I was told to leave and ride westward to Babylonia where I would find companions for my journey, for we were all to go to Judea and find the long promised King of the Jews.
But I could not simply leave my master and ride to the western lands. I was still in your service and on loan from you. I could not defy you whom I had pledged to serve. But the heavenly visitor told me that I was now to serve a higher king than yourself, a heavenly king who would take care of me.
As I puzzled over this matter, I decided that loss of honor, death or imprisonment, could not be worse than the darkness I had previously walked in. What I had strived for all my life, what my forefathers had looked for and had never seen, was to be found in Judea. I had no choice but to go and find this king of the Jews, for before I had sworn an oath to you, I had swore one to my forefathers and to my fellow seers that I would be first and foremost a seeker of truth.
I gathered some provisions, a few of my belongings and the myrrh I had bought and loaded them onto my camel. I had told your cousin, the governor, I was taking an important journey and did not know when I would be back. He was angry, but he did not hinder me.
And so I rode to the western edge of Babylonia and found the inn which the heavenly messenger had described. I had been instructed to go to the well and wait. This I did. And so I waited until two men on camels came into sight.
When the men dismounted, I gasped, for I immediately recognized the brightly colored blue robe of one of the men who was now approaching me.
“Casper," I cried out, guilt flooding through me at the horrible accusations I made to him at our last meeting. In his bearing and in his face I could see stalwart purpose and strength of character. I realized that Casper had always been a devoted seeker as I was and that in the later years of our association, I had been envious of his rapid success.
He embraced me.
“It is good to see you again my friend," he said.
“You are here to follow the star?" I asked him.
“Yes, for I have been studying the charts as you taught me and the conclusion is unmistakable. The long promised king of the Jews is to be born, and we must go and worship him."
I had not previously known our third traveler, Melchior, but he too was a seer and had seen the star and was compelled to follow it.
Melchior was a wealthy man from a family of seers who as a child had received a promise in a dream that he would see the King of all Kings. He had waited all his life for this event, and had saved up gold for that day. When he saw the star he knew it was the sign he had waited for.
Casper had been given a recurring vision of a great priest who would intercede before God on behalf of flawed mankind. His gift was frankincense.
I promise you, great king, that my story is true and can be collaborated.
Though the journey is physically difficult, I cannot begin to tell you the joy my companions and I possess as we share our hopes with one another. After we find the promised king, I will write to you again and tell you of it.
Please be merciful in your thoughts of us as we travel, and receive us back into your presence when we return. After beholding this marvelous wonder which countless generations of men have longed to see, I have no doubt that we will be even more qualified to serve you and that in the end, you will be one beneficiary of our new enlightenment.
Your faithful servant,
Belthazar
The End